It's Not (all) About Me

When Pharaoh’s horses, chariots, and charioteers rushed into the sea, the Lord brought the water crashing down on them. But the people of Israel had walked through the middle of the sea on dry ground!

Then Miriam the prophet, Aaron’s sister, took a tambourine and led all the women as they played their tambourines and danced.  And Miriam sang this song:

   “Sing to the Lord,
      for he has triumphed gloriously;
   he has hurled both horse and rider
      into the sea.”   Exodus 15:19-21 (NLT)

In this passage Miriam sings praises to God for delivering the people of Israel from the pursuing Egyptians at the Red Sea.  The song cheers the sight of Pharaoh’s army being hurled into the sea, drowned in the Red Sea, overwhelmed by the fathomless deep, sunk like stones, swallowed up, and all because of God’s love.  Most sermons I’ve heard about this passage depict this event as a celebration of deliverance from evil, metaphorically represented by Pharaoh’s army, and it doesn't trouble them.  

So this is what’s happening right now – I am a selfish person.  Now, before you start to judge too harshly – so are you.  I mean really…we all have a tendency to be selfish.  But, at least for this post, I’m talking about me (ugh!  Once again being selfish!).  Unfortunately though, it’s true.  I look out for people, I try to be a good guy, help others when I can, but really I’m quite self-centered.  This blog is about my journey into faith, it’s an honest attempt to be…well – honest.  I am exploring faith, theology, church, Jesus, God, Jesus as God and so on.  But I begin to think these exercises, these contemplations are all well-and-good, but it’s not all about me. 

It’s tough to think about sometimes.  Those really true honest looks.  It’s a difficult thing to look at one’s life and see how my own sin has affected others, and it’s usually not in a positive way.  I was reading Miriam’s Song this evening and I thought the same things I’ve always heard in the sermons:  Isn’t the love of God a beautiful thing!  And it is  - I most assuredly don’t dispute that.  But I also thought, that maybe Miriam and Moses and the Children of Israel might have done well if, in the midst of their celebration, they had thought, even if for just a moment, that it wasn’t all about them.

How many “innocent” men died in the Red Sea that day?  How many soldiers were merely doing as they were told…as is a soldier’s wont.  How much pain, agony, suffering…because of God’s love?  No, not entirely.  This tragedy happened because Israel had been taken into slavery – because of their sin!  So maybe on the eastern side of the Red Sea there should have been some introspection mingled in with the celebration. 

The Gospel was not all about them, God delivered for Israel, but others suffered because of them.  In the same way, because of my sin, God delivered and Jesus suffered on the cross, and my fellow man has often suffered because of me.  Sometimes I get so focused on my relationship with God, so focused on what God has done for us and the Body of Christ, that I forget that Christ died because of sin...my sin.  I see preachers on TV who talk about the love of God and how God wants his children to prosper, have joyful, fulfilling lives. But I often forget that He died for ALL.  That God does not rejoice in the suffering of any of his children.  
I once read a rabbinic story told in some Passover Haggadahs.  An angel standing next to God urges him to celebrate the great victory of deliverance as the sea washes over the army.  God hushes him saying: “Be quiet, my children are dying.”